Monday, May 13, 2013

Mr. Tony Fetzer: The Man Behind The Man

So as most of you correctly assumed, acquiring an interview with Mr. Tony Fetzer prover to be increasingly difficult.

However you didn't think I'd leave you hanging did you? Of course I wouldn't!

Using my reporter wits, I managed to persuade this real grump of a man, to relent and step off his stone wall of cold stubbornness.

JM: I'll let you use my computer time for three days.

TF: Deal. You have sixty goddamn seconds.

JM: How did you get down here Tony?

TF: I bumped my head on a tree and fell down a rabbit hole.

JM: Really?

TF: No not really you dumbass!

JM: Goodness, no need for language sir. Now let me see...

TF: Thirty seconds.

JM: Oh come now, be reasonable Tony!

TF: Fifteen seconds.

JM: Care to talk about your experiences at all down here.

TF:  No. I don't. Time's up.

JM: That was a low move Fetzer! Why should I give you my computer time for a cruddy interview like that?

TF: That is not my problem.

JM: Don't you want anyone to know what happened to you?

TF: No, you know why? Because I'm not dying down here in this hell hole you damn tragedian. Besides, even if I did want a story recorded I wouldn't want it to be your screwy version.

JM: Please Tony. Just one more question.

TF: No.

JM: Please!

TF: Fine. One question.

JM: And you have to answer upfront.

TF: Fine.

JM: Care to explain the tidying?

TF: I'm not answering that question.

JM: But you said

TF: No. Ask something else, or no question at all.

JM: Alright...How do you feel about Ms. McMasters?

TF: ...This interview is over.

JM: Hey! Hey! Tony give me back the recorder!

As you can see he certainly is an obstinate individual. I couldn't get one straight question out of the guy. He certainly is an odd fellow. Spends most of his time moping about, dusting the old floorboards of this maze. Quite an odd ol' boy indeed. Completely oblivious to reality if you ask me.

Anywho, that concludes the interview of my companions down here, hopefully they'll open up a bit more as time goes on. After all we have just met.

Now however, the time has come to expand my horizons! To record not just the story of my friends, but also all of you.

Wish me luck, and keep strong!


  1. You're going to record ours too? Cool! How so, out of interest?

    I probably would've kept questioning Tony. And then I'd get punched in the face. Yeh, don't do what I'd have done.

    Good luck, sir!

  2. I like this guy. Seriously, when someone doesn't want to talk? You leave them be. That's why I don't like reporters.

    I mean, what do you gain from this questioning? These people don't know any more than you do, and if they want to say more, they will. Pushing just stresses things, raises tensions... Even disregarding the possibility of proxification, the group won't be able to work as well together if you keep pushing people.

  3. I just realised who you reminded me of, Johnny. A certain Jake English.

  4. I normally hate reporters, but I think I might actually be starting to like you. Good luck, Johnny.

    Stay Safe,

  5. You're a screwy motherfucker, but I'll give you points for stubbornness

  6. Hey, you OK? Haven't heard from you recently, and that's probably a bad sign...

    1. Why certainly, we're fine. Just been a little preoccupied is all I suppose.