Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Ms. Oliver McMasters: The Kindred Leader

My first order of business was obvious. To publish my own story as well as the stories of all my companions. I spoke with them, interviewed them, consoled them on their losses as well as congratulated them on their scarce triumphs in the face of certain death, and discovered the string of events that lead all of them to be trapped in this dark place.

As interesting and noteworthy as a great reporter like myself can be, it is important to remember that all people have stories, so firstly we shall examine the story of Ms. Oliver McMasters.

McMasters is a woman who appears to be in her early twenties, but as she informed me is actually in her late twenties. A quick wit with big brown eyes, and grey streaks in her naturally black hair, no doubt from the stress this young woman has endured. Among all of our crew she has been trapped in this loop for the longest amount of time, a jaw-dropping five years if you can imagine, perhaps even longer. Still perseverance appears to be the lady's proverbial bread and butter, a kindred and optimistic spirit through and through, the unspoken leader of this company. How could such a kind and gentle come to reside in such a place as this?

OM: Uh...Johnny do we have to do this right now? I'm in the middle of something here.

JM: Ms. McMasters, am I to understand that you don't want to be remembered throughout the ages? That you want to go on with your toils unremembered?

OM: Where'd you find that tape recorder? Tom could've used the batteries to-

JM: This is more important than Tommy and his deranged tinkering! This is about immortality! The eternal preservation in the hearts and minds of people everywhere, even after our hearts have stopped beating.

OM: Geez, you're so melodramatic. Alright ask away.

JM: Thank you miss, now do tell the tape recorder a little more about yourself.

OM: Uh...Hello, I'm Oliver. I'm a Libra?

JM: Ms. McMasters, please describe the events that lead to you being trapped in this dark hell hole of infinite insanity!

OM: Well...

It's at this point Ms. McMasters takes on a thoughtful contemplative look, stopping her actions of rummaging through the odds and ends of an abandoned junk drawer and quietly wanders through the ghosts of her past, hardening herself for the pain the memories undoubtedly bring her.

OM: I suppose it all started a few years ago, my little brother, Bobby went missing, and I was looking for him and somehow wound up here.

JM: Is that all?

OM: Yeah, that's the gist of it.

JM: Only the gist? Not the full epic?

OM: Look Johnny, it's not really something I like to talk about. Some stuff should be more private y'know?

JM: And what in particular would you like to keep private?

OM: It's private.

JM: But what specifically?

OM: Johnny, is this really the best use of your time?

JM: Of course it is, learning about you is always a valuable use of my time.

OM: Oh, uh...thanks.

JM: So what about romance huh? Any special guys in your life.

OM: What?

JM: You and Tony looked like you were getting pretty cozy last night after supper.

OM: Okay, now that is really none of your business.

JM: It's a simple question Oliver, the masses want to know!

OM: Where are you posting this again?

JM: Oh...uh...On a blog.

OM: So that's what you've been up to during your computer time.

JM: Indeed I have! And what a noble use of the computer it was.

OM: Look, Johnny, this is okay when you're with me, because

JM: Because we have such an intimate friendship?

OM: Uh...yeah, sure, something like that, but I think it may be best if you not interview the others.

JM: Why ever not?

OM: Well you know Theo's in kind of a delicate place right now, she doesn't need you pestering her with questions, and it's only going to piss Tony off if you approach him with this.

JM: What about Tommy?

OM: You hate Tom, you said so yourself.

JM: I said no such thing! Why he and me are the closest of bosom companions!

OM: Uh huh, look, just, can listen to me on this one? Please.

JM: Alright Madame, I can't say I agree with you on this, but I will certainly abide by your words. You are after all the leader.

OM: I am? Wait is that what you all think of me?

JM: Why of course, you have a commanding and motherly sort of quality about you.

OM: That's ridiculous, I'm not in charge, nobody has to listen to me or anything.

JM: So then I can interview whomever I please!

OM: What? No! No that's not what I meant.

JM: We conclude this interview now! Sleep tight America and all your ships at sea!

OM: Johnny!

It hurts me to have to twist the arm and the rules of such a fine and upstanding lady, but I am a writer of integrity, and these stories must be told.

Stay tuned ladies and gentlemen, for the upcoming story of Mr. Tony Fetzer a man clouded in mystery and a fiery and irrational rage.

Until next time this is Johnny Marconi reporting from inside of the loop.

Keep strong!


  1. I like your attitude sir. Very optimistic, seems to keep you going.

  2. It appears to me that you are in a secret denial Mr. Macaroni, I can be wrong of course, but as Minxie had said, your over the top optimistic attitude, in fact, your obsession with your job, it all seems to be like a safe lock, a blocker, you are blocking out something, hence why I think you are in denial of something.

    Something like some deep personal trauma inflicted upon you by my Master, or any other Fear, or maybe it was long before you found out about my Master.

    The fact that you go on an interviewing spree just points out that factor even more, you don't want to talk about yourself in greater detail. You say that you stumbled upon Slendy while investigating and so on... But there is something you are hiding from the general public, every good reporter keeps an ace up their sleeve, so to say.

    But, twas just an assumption of a humble psychopath, feel free to take them as insane ramblings of an insane person.

    1. Kelevra, may I just say you are absolutely sane and have a proper view of reality and a sense of right and wrong. You just don't care about it, is all. You're like a sane kind of insane.

    2. You know...

      Twas poetic, I like the sound of that, look at you getting smarter, a show of strength, my my, Minxie, you are growing.

    3. well thanks. my bullet wound is playing up again so i cant type to thank you properlyy.

      more poetic: your mind is so bent that if i threw it, it would come back.

    4. If it were like a boomerang...

      We would not have to deal with him until he woke up, correct?


  3. I have to say that actually publishing to the public is a really shitty idea. Knowing about slendy gets you stalked,getting stalked makes you a proxy (sometimes), and that means the entire thing snowballs. Not to mention I wouldn't be surprised if someone blocked the story.

    1. Well the word will be heard none the less!

  4. And the death toll will be shocking. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, when it comes to Slendy. Possibly the other fears as well.
    So I guess what I'm saying is this; Don't tell the general public. Because a sudden influx of proxies will probably not have a major effect on the runners, but their friends and families? They'll be killed like sheep to a slaughter. Trust me. I've been there. And you can't inflict that on anyone else. Please.

    1. Sir I don't know if you've noticed by all of these blogs in general appear to be giving the public access to knowledge they wouldn't otherwise have.

      Also, I'm trapped in a basement and haven't heard from any of my editors in weeks.

    2. If you find the blogs, chances are you already know. If you find the blogs and don't know, you assume it's an ARG (an impression it's best to cultivate). If you manage to publish to the greater public, giving them the pure undiluted truth? It'll be glorious, but end with a metric fucktonne of proxies and dead bodies. And that wouldn't be good for our longterm survival.

      Also, you're locked in a cellar? That's hilarious. Any particular reason, or do you just have a fetish for that kind of thing?

    3. Obviously you my friend are what us reporters like to call, "A Skimmer."

    4. You just need to look at the stats. There was an initial flareup in reported activity, then an increase in blogs, indicating that the blogs were symptomatic, not the cause of the increased activity. This pattern has held fairly steady, meaning you can't blame the blogs for the flareup. The next part is speculation, but I can be fairly certain; Given the pattern of how people became aware, knowledge of the slenderman makes being targeted inevitable. Therefore, the blogs must be treated as a game by those who are unaware. You're a reporter, which somewhat biases me against you, but judging by your referencing this shitcake as a 'scoop' you intend to publish, thus fucking everyone over.

      As for the skimming, yep, I did. That level of self-aggrandizing bullshit is rather grating, and I don't want to put a fist through my laptop. You need to get a new editor. Anyway, if you got labrynthed by slendy, there's not much you can do but wait it out. Rather odd that you'd find others; I don't think there's any precedence for that. But you can be sure you won't get out until you're released. Better people than you have tried and failed to get out before their time was served.

    5. Goodness sir, there's no need to be hostile! We're all friends here! If you say I shouldn't publish than I give you my word that I won't. I have a feeling my publishers wouldn't believe me anyhow, seeing as all my proof is probably long gone.

    6. I'm a hostile person. That's probably not gonna change.

  5. Oh god, I was right. :D And hey! Deranged tinkering *is* important!

    You might want to take down a notch when you interview the others. They might be blinded by your bombastic enthusiasm.

    1. Not to fear. I'm sure once I've explained myself and my reasoning they'll be more than happy to cooperate.

  6. This is sort of like reading about the world's stupidest puppy. It's actually making me feel better. That's a trick.

    Keep it up I spose. I think we all kind of need someone with a spirit like your's. Try not to burn out too fast, kid.